Have you ever...

Have you ever wanted to just run. Not for fitness or even fun, but to get away. Not run away, but get away.
Have you ever wanted to just hop on a plane and travel to somewhere you have never been before. Forget planning, forget everything but just the feeling of freedom that comes with doing something for you.
Have you ever felt like the world is yours, that everything is going your way. That nothing can bring you down.

Have you ever felt...Alone... That the world passes you by and you have no way to stop it.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you can almost "taste" it. It is within your reach, but yet out of reach at the same time.
Have you ever felt like you need to be strong all the time. There is no room to show weakness. You almost don't want to admit to yourself that you are weak. So you hide it until you are unfeeling and cold.
Have you ever felt like you are not being yourself, that you may not even know who you really are. Or if you do, you aren't sure that those you care about will accept the real you.
Have you ever felt used. You are there for everyone all the time and they know it. When you need them they are never around, but they will let you know when they need you.
Have you ever loved to serve, but hate when people take you for granted.
Have you ever realized that you will do almost anything for your friends, because you care.
Have you ever wanted to be selfish... just once. Who cares about everyone else, do whats best for you...
right?
Have you ever wondered if things will ever go your way.
Have you ever felt that no one understands you

Have you ever wanted to just run...

Changes

I find it interesting how things change. Friendships are continually changing and shifting. Relationships good or bad effecting more then just those in them. I look at some of the people around me and see that they still have friends that they grew up with. Life long friends... I don't think you know how rare they are. I have no contact with anyone I knew growing up. I have changed they have changed and moved and married and are now having kids and moving on with there lives. Lives that have no room for those friends they once knew.

There is nothing wrong with making new friends, but a part of me wishes I had that rare friend that I could count on no matter what. Not that I don't have good friends, but not ones good enough to choose hanging out with me over that certain someone in their life, and it isn't like I expect them to either. I can't expect them to choose me over that special person in their life. But I guess as their friend I thought there would still be room for me, but there isn't anymore. It is a common trend and a natural one. It isn't unexpected, but it is just a little lonely to watch all your friends find that someone to share their life with for the time being or even for eternity.

I guess what I am getting at is that I want someone in my life to choose me. Not just because of the way I look or anything superficial like that. But because of who I am, because I am fun to be with, interesting enough to have an intellectual conversation with. Because they value my opinions and love to hear stories of my life. Someone that feels comfortable around me and I feel the same around them. We would be able to be completely ourselves, knowing each others strengths and weakness and we can help each other learn and grow. I want someone I can laugh with, and cry with, and be silly and be serious with. I want someone to travel with, to stay at home with. Someone to be busy with or do nothing with. Some one to share my values and morals. Someone to believe in me and give me someone to believe in. I just want that someone.

I know you are out there but I just cant find you. So please come find me. I often grow lonely and long to see your face. I will be everything you need and want and you will be the same for me. Together we WILL live happily ever after, because with you by my side, life will be the fairytale I always dreamed of.

Need You Now

To my White Knight,

            You have yet to come and rescue me (a.k.a. the damsel in distress) from my lonely existence.  I must conclude that since you have yet to show up, you must not be coming. I have to ask myself, where you might be. There are no dragons to slay. Only one task you must complete, scale the wall that protects my heart. It won’t be easy I will give you that. I have built the wall so high and so thick that anyone not up to the challenge will fail.

            And yet, even with my heart so guarded, I find myself vulnerable. For there is one, that has braved the wall and somehow surpassed it with ease.  It built its own way out, and it comes and goes as it pleases. It has a name…Loneliness. It is a dreadful foe that keeps my heart and mind captive. I need you to find me, and soon. I fight off loneliness, but I only the have the strength to do so for certain periods of time. When I am weak  though, I succumb to feeling alone. I cry when I know that no one is looking. I feel depressed, and I find myself realizing that nobody cares.

            Everyone has their own life to worry about. They may ask what is wrong, but I can never bring myself to tell them. Why? I have no one to confide in, no one to truly comfort me, and no one to hold me when I cry. And it is all because you are not here. Sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of you. I think, maybe you have come at last, but then I realized that the person in front of me has their own damsel to save  and my search for you starts all over again.

            Must I resign to playing the silly games that all the other girls play, because if I must you are not worth my time. I hate the games, I always have. You are supposed to fight for me… remember. I have lost my strength for the time being and loneliness has come in your place.

Please save me.

Your Princess